


The Good Side

by plistetskyy



Category: troye sivan - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-04-12 01:18:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19121659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plistetskyy/pseuds/plistetskyy
Summary: Jacob goes back to his roots and finds his soulmate along the way. Upon returning to his grandmother's home in the Italian beach town Abruzzo, he meets the angel in her garden that goes by Troye. As they both finally let go of their pasts, they embrace life as it is, and find happiness with a new love.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlushingRojas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlushingRojas/gifts).



_everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt._

_-kurt vonnegut_

_\- - -_

Jacob didn't want to think about how insane the last year has been. As soon as his feet touched the ground of Rome's airport, he let everything go. His fake friends, failed finals, and ex-boyfriend mean nothing now. College is done and it's truly time to step in the real ass world. 

He hasn't seen his grandmother in over five years. The fresh Italian air already has him feeling like he's home. Her small home in the beach town Abruzzo is waiting to welcome him and his mother with fresh pasta bolognese.

As the van finally pulls up at the foot of her driveway, Jacob can already smell the garden full of basil and tomatoes. It's finally time to be at peace. 

"Mio bambino!" 

His Nonna adorably hobbles down the driveway and embraces her family. The last time they visited her, Jacob was about to start high school. Now he's out of university with a major in design that he doesn't know what to do with. 

"What took you all so long? Did you not know that it is already dinner time?" 

"Sorry mom, you know how far the airport is. Jacob and I are starving, though!"

She embraces her much taller grandson and reaches to pinch his cheek. 

"Ah, my boy! You so handsome now! Last time, Nonna was your height and now you so big! He got girlfriend, Isabella?" 

Jacob and his mother laugh. "No, no girlfriends Nonna. Just enjoying life." Little does she know, Jacob's never had the hots for any girl. Sure, there was that one time he had a "girlfriend" when he was fourteen, and it only took those two weeks to realize how absolutely gay he is. 

"Good, good. No silly drama, you just stay with Nonna and make pasta," she laughs. "Now come, you must be hungry!" 

As Jacob follows his grandmother inside, his eyes fall upon the angel in her garden. At least, that's how he appears to him. The entire world stopped when he locked eyes with the most gorgeous, ethereal boy he's ever seen. He's wearing a light pink shirt with faded overalls that come to his knees, and he's carrying a basket filled with vegetables. There's some dirt on his hands and his baby blonde curls are all over the place, but it only makes him look more beautiful. Jacob sees endless galaxies in his aqua eyes.

"Ah, Troye! You got many vegetables?" 

The soft boy tears his eyes off of Jacob and nods. 

"Jacob, this is Troye. He come from Australia with his sister. He takes care of the garden and the house, since I am a little too old now. Troye, meet my daughter Isabella and my grandson." 

Troye's cheeks are tinted pink as he gives a little wave to the cute American boy. Jacob can't help but adore his blush already. Everything about him stands out amidst the beautiful Italian town, from his delicate collarbones to his raspberry stained lips. 

"Hi, I'm Jacob." 

"Hello, Jacob," he timidly says, his soft Australian accent coming out. Jacob could melt right now, he really could. He's never going back to America if this is where boys like Troye go. 

Him and Nonna converse about the vegetables in Italian before Troye sets off. She takes the basket from him, and god, when that boy spoke Italian Jacob knew he'd be wrapped around his finger very soon. His eyes followed the sweet blonde as he headed for his baby blue bicycle which fit him perfectly. Jacob is definitely going to make sure to stay around Nonna's when that boy comes back, as he's long forgotten about the fresh pasta and the delicious red wine that awaits him. It's all bland in comparison to the moment he first saw Troye. 

\- - -

The next morning, Jacob woke to sun shining through wooden shutters. Light graces his vibrant hazel eyes as they flicker across the old room. It's not hard to see that Nonna was lonely for a while. Nonno's death was the most devastating moment in her life, and in Jacob's too. Truly, they were the best of friends. He remembers his early childhood days spent on the beaches of Abruzzo; the three year old Jacob would run naked on the shore under the adoring eyes of his relatives as Nonno swam to the jetties to fetch mussels. And then they would all head home, singing songs to the sky and the sand as they thought about how delicious the mussels will taste in the linguine pasta. 

In this same room that he looks around, Jacob's cousin Franco would come over and play cards with him. So many matches were won and lost in between these four walls. Innocent happiness was the center of it all; Jacob can recall nothing but pure bliss and a constant outpouring of love from his family and their homeland. As he and Franco grew older, their games extended to his friends and the other kids on the street. The Adriatic Sea, Italian cards, and smiling European faces became the definition of Jacob's summers. Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt. 

Little did the sweet boy know that his mother was sending him across the ocean for the sake of covering up a divorce, not for him to experience culture and family love. He briefly recalls getting calls from her, explaining that she needs him to look after Nonna and Nonno for another day, another week, or another month. 

"But why, mama? They are the ones looking after me," the young Jacob would always ask. Isabella hated lying to her baby, and he was so intelligent that she knew lying was no longer serving them. It was time to lay down the truth on her eight year old that she hasn't seen in five weeks. 

"Jake, your daddy and I aren't going to be together anymore. It was ugly and painful at home, so mommy, Nonna, and Nonno, and Zizi Rosa thought it's best you instead spend time around what makes you happy-" 

The little boy hung up the phone right then and there, because he knew the life he's always lived is dead now. Over time, trips to Italy became lest frequent, as he now had to balance two different American homes. It really was ugly, appalling even. And god, everything hurt so fucking much. 

As Jacob slowly came back to earth after reliving this lifetime, he lets his mind wander to Troye again. It's going to be another glorious day. How could anything be bad with a boy like that around anyways? 

It's already ten thirty and he can hear voices from downstairs. Before heading to the kitchen for an expresso, Jacob takes a quick glimpse outside. It seems as if the Lord himself is showering him in his blessings, because he sees Troye in the garden below with a baby blue watering can, lovingly caring for the plants. The violets, carnations, and roses combined were nothing compared to the beautiful boy with the ocean eyes that glimmered so vibrantly in the dewy morn. 

By some miraculous chance, the angel in rubber green gardening shoes looks up. He catches the American boy nearly  _falling_  out the window to get a glimpse of him, and the blush in his baby soft cheeks become deeper. 

"If you lean any further, you'll probably fall," he yells to Jacob with a shy smile. He grins back at the lovely Troye, once again in a t-shirt (this time white) with soft, blue, knee-length overalls. 

"But you'd catch me though, right?" Jacob teases, dying to get a cute giggle out of the boy. 

Troye laughs through his nose. "I would try, but you're a bit far. I think you'd crush me, too." 

God, his Australian accent is to  _die_  for. Back home, Jacob was told the boys with the Italian accents would make him weak in the knees, but so far it's the gardener from down under. 

"Will you be around today?" 

"For a little while," Troye explains, "but I've got plans tonight so not all day." 

The curiosity of Troye's whereabouts begins to creep into Jacob's head but he quickly dismisses them. For all he knows, the boy could have a lover already. It's probably time to ease up on the thoughts of his grandmother's gardener, but fuck, he's  _beyond_  beautiful...

"Well hopefully I'll see you around, yeah?" Jacob says, winking at Troye, who then becomes even redder in the face. Either the boy is really shy or really gay, or maybe it's the fact that Jacob has no shirt on. Probably all three, now that he thinks about it. 

"Yes! I mean- uh, alright, see you 'round, Jacob," Troye nearly exclaimed, catching himself getting too excited. And Jacob couldn't stop himself this time; the second he ripped himself away from the windowsill, his heart blissfully melted. 

 


	2. two

When Franco showed up at Nonna's door, Jacob didn't even recognize him. His strawberry hair has been buzzed, he's got a shiny nose ring, and for the first time he's shorter than his cousin. Franco towered over the young Jacob, but now he's two inches behind. Yet still, the second they realize who one another is, the years apart are forgotten and discarded. All that truly matters is now.

"I never thought you'd end up with a nose ring before me," Jacob laughs. 

"I didn't either!"

Thank god Franco's fluent in English, because Jacob can barely remember Italian. He holds the American school system responsible for taking away his bilingual abilities. 

Both of them struggle to fathom the current reality. It's been eight long years since they've seen each other, their last memory together being Jacob waving from a dirty white cab. Soon, Nonna and Isabella come outside to see Franco and the whole family is on the driveway again. 

After a long conversation about college and why Nonna refuses to forgive Franco for never attending, the boys finally manage to wander off from the house. Strolling down the cobblestone road, Jacob's thoughts go back to the pretty Troye and his baby blonde curls. The corners of his mouth turn up as his eyes stop focusing on the path toward the beach. Franco can tell his cousin isn't listening to his story about the crazy Greeks that moved in across the street anymore. 

"Jake? What you thinking of?"

"Huh?" 

"What's on your mind?" 

Unaware of how obvious his mental drifting is, Jacob looks at Franco with furrowed brows. "Wh-what do you mean?" 

"I can tell you're not listening to me talk about the Georgopoulos family. Something wrong?"

"Ah, I'm alright..." he tries to explain. just a few minutes ago, he just saw his cousin for the first time in almost a decade. Now might not be the best time to say he's crushing on an Australian boy that works in Nonna's garden. "So like, why exactly did they start throwing garden gnomes at your door?" 

It's just like old times once again. The bright blue Italian sky hangs over them without a single cloud; tanned children are pedaling along the cobblestone street on their tricycles as the smell of freshly baked bread fills the air. Couples of all kinds lounge on the beach and in the turquoise water. It's simply beautiful. 

Jacob's olive skin is slightly darkened by the time he returns for dinner. It's only been twenty-four hours, but that's all he needed to realize that Abruzzo is his true home. It's been twenty-four hours free of school stress, heartache, and of the smell of foul American sunscreens. The sun begins to fall and casts a gentle shadow across the kitchen sink. The garden is empty, except for two birds and a brown kitten Nonna calls Topolino. After another delicious dinner, Jacob gets a text from Franco.

Franco: meet me at the bottom of the driveway in twenty minutes, we are going to go out dancing!! 

\- - -

Jacob thanks the drag queens above for reminding him to pack his best skinny jeans. He checks himself out in the mirror a few times before grabbing his wallet and heading out.

The bar isn't overly crowded, but the performers on the small stage will definitely have a significant audience. Magenta lights shine upon wine bottles, glasses, and the young Italian people letting loose on the dance floor. Jacob's favorite thing about European bars like this is that the dancing is not always sloppy grinding and groping other people, rather it's smiling your way through the night to the sounds of a local artist. 

Jacob has always struggled in deciding if God is real or not. As he sat on the plane and flew over the Lord's earth, he asked for a sign. Big or small. He just wants to know if he's truly being watched over, or if he ex was right or wrong when he said not even God could love someone like him. 

But God must really love him, and he must have thought about these signs, because in the split second that Troye completely leaves Jacob's mind, he looks up to see the angel himself on stage. It's nearly miraculous to the both of them.

Jacob leaves Franco's side to come up to the stage for another close-up of Troye. His sapphire eyes are sparkling again, gentle and striking, as they stare right into his own. He must've realizing how intense his gaze upon Jacob is, and casts it to the ground instead. The light hits his cheekbones, revealing a blush and a rose quartz-glitter highlight. His mere face puts every single crystal to shame. 

"You come here often?" Jacob asks, jokingly smirking. 

Troye blushes deeper and laughs quietly. "Sometimes I do, but that's only because the people demand to hear my voice. I really can't dance." 

"Hey, neither can I. The key is to just act like you're an expert, and no one will notice how bad you are. I do it all the time, you just watch tonight," he winks Troye, who just laughs beautifully again. 

"I'll be watching. I need to warm up now, so I'll catch you after the show hopefully." 

Jacob nods as his eyes refuse to detach from Troye, who's now walking off. He goes back to Franco, pretending to not be completely whipped by the boy he just met yesterday. And Franco can see right through this act, but he doesn't say anything for the sake of Jacob's confidence. 

They dance and drink the night away with Franco's group of friends. They're the kind of people that dress like they're crashing the Met Gala, and always have the best crazy stories. There was one, Elio, who was more quiet and sweet than the rest. He was undeniably beautiful. Jacob didn't get to speak to him much, as soon he was swept away by some handsome American man. The boys around here really must know what they want. 

When Troye took the stage, Jacob got to witness him amidst his greatest passion. He explained to the crowd that he's been in town for about six months now and wrote all these songs on his own. 

"So, uh, my name's Troye, and this one's called 'for him.'" 

His shyness melted away as music filled the room. The soft overalls and pastel t-shirt were replaced with a mesh tank top, tight red pants, and black nail polish. He's striking yet still soft in Jacob's eyes, who struggles to focus on the conversation he's partially in. It all melts away at the sight of Troye and the shine on his delicate collar bones, the bright red lip gloss that glistens under the magenta lights, and how absolutely alluring his voice is. When he finishes his song 'Bloom,' the club erupts in applause. Jacob decides there's no other human in this universe that can compare to Troye. Not now, not ever. 

He closes the night with a cover of Fiona Apple's 'Across the Universe.' As soon as Troye steps off the stage, Jacob excuses himself from the group. 

He knew there was something special about this boy. Beautiful heart, beautiful face, and a beautiful voice? Before he can catch up to Troye, a man in a black tank top comes up to him from behind and places his large hand on his dainty waist. He kisses Troye's temple, whispering something in his ear and Jacob's heart sinks. The pain is probably evident in his face. Fuck. But for the two seconds he looks beyond his own aches, Jacob notices Troye's frame is completely rigid, as if someone just told him he's going to die soon. There's something very wrong about the situation here. 

Troye attempts to shrug the mystery man off him which only results in a tighter grip on his waist. Before he can whimper and before Jacob can knock his lights out, he lets go of the boy and walks off. Troye takes a relieved breath and turns his head to the side, which allows Jacob to see the tears on the brim of his doe eyes. He shrugs the pain off and continues to drink from his water bottle. 

It's too soon to ask Troye what that little incident was about, and to protect his slight heartache Jacob downs the rest of his drink and puts on a fake smile. 

"You were fantastic, Troye!" 

His flinch was extremely noticeable, and Jacob wants to smack himself for accidentally scaring the boy. But Troye quickly recovers and pretends that everything is completely fine, which is something he believes he's become an expert in.

"Oh, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the show! I wrote all of those myself, actually. It took a long time to find the courage to perform them." 

"Is this your first night on stage?" Jacob asks. 

"It's my third. The people here seem to really enjoy me, since it was the manager that requested I come back. He says I bring a bigger crowd every time."

Jacob scans the room and realizes how many people have packed into the medium sized club. It kind of stings his heart, because there's probably tons of other people who want Troye just as much as he does. But he should be proud of him. It's definitely not easy to make it in the music world anymore. 

"That's awesome, Troye. You really deserve it. Everyone here loved your performance and I'm glad my cousin decided to drag me out here tonight," Jacob smiles. 

"You're too sweet, Jacob." Troye's eyes flicker to the floor again as a precious blush appears on his cheeks. The American has already forgotten about the creepy man in the black tank top with the help of his heart and a few glasses of whiskey. 

"Can I buy you a drink and tell you about my awful dancing?" 

The blue eyes come back to Jacob's face, a bit startled and accompanied by a genuine grin. "That would be lo-"

"He doesn't drink." 

A rough hand places itself on Troye's little shoulder. It belongs to the thug in the black tank top, and Jacob has never wanted to break someone's fingers so bad. The fear in Troye's gaze fuels his anger even more. 

"C'mon, we're leaving." The hand roughly grips a tiny wrist and drags him away. He didn't even give Troye the chance to say goodbye, and made his mistreatment of the boy incredibly obvious. 

Franco calls his name and tells him it's time to head out before Jacob can process what to do about this. Too stunned and confused for the night, he follows his cousin out the door, his mind now a sea of painful thoughts and questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you guys think so far?


	3. three

_"the truth runs wild like a tear down a cheek."_

    _-troye sivan_

\- - -

Troye isn't in the garden the next morning. 

Jacob pretends not to be concerned. Maybe he's sleeping in after last night, or maybe he has plans with friends, or maybe it has to do with the man in the black tank top...

At the thought of that, his stomach lurches. It's not a good idea to think of things that set you off on the morning of a hangover. Nonna can tell he's feeling rough, and makes him a warm cup of chamomile with honey. 

"This soothe your stomach, make you feel better!" she explained, setting the mug down on the brown table. 

"Thanks, Nonna. Te amo." 

She kissed the top of her grandson's head. "You have good time with Franco last night? You saw Troye?" 

His tired eyes light up again, nose crinkling with a lovely smile. "We had a great time. I did see Troye, he's an amazing singer!  Where is he, though?"

"Ah, I gave him today off. He had a show last night, and tomorrow we sell the food at the market. You want to help him?" She asks, grinning cheekily. 

"Yeah, I'd like that." 

\- - - 

For the first time in years, Jacob has the good side of life. He realizes this after his hangover melts away, when he's sitting on the beach with his loving family and a picnic basket. It wasn't always like this for him. 

So many people always came and went once they got what they want, including his own father. Fake girls would befriend him, in hopes of being able to say "I have a gay best friend, so of course I support gays" after being caught bullying a transgender student. 

Boys came for a few things: sex, weed, or humiliation. It began when Jacob was a freshman and told a boy on the water polo team that he's interested in him. He was incredibly bright and never ceased to put a smile on Jacob's face. They met up in the park for a date. They held hands, laughed together, and shared a cherry coke like the average, smitten fifteen year old boys they were. Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt. 

One of the "popular kids" saw them together, snapped a photo of the young couple and shit hit the fan. The bullying was monstrous. Looking back on it, it truly blows Jacob's mind how terrible kids could be. His high school sweetheart met him on a park bench one night past dark, and told him with tears on his face that he's leaving town. The taunting and the beatings became so bad that he's scared for his life, all because he kissed Jacob Bixenman. And that was the last time Jacob saw Tyler. 

The heartbreak drove him to despair. The bullying was eventually subdued when the kids who beat Tyler were expelled, but Jacob found himself in a bad crowd. This is when the drugs, drinks, and hookups came into his life. High school was torture, but he survived. To this day, Isabella regrets not pulling her beloved son out and moving back to Italy. 

Jacob doesn't often speak of his father because there's truly not much to say. The second he got his wealth, he took it and ran, leaving Isabella and Jacob flat. Loss has been a major figure in the boy's life. 

He thought he finally found love in college. There was a short boy he adored, who's head was graced with long chocolate curls. And by some miracle, said boy adored Jacob back, but they didn't last. This story is for another day. 

These storms have all been successfully weathered and it's time to move forward. Jacob lets go of these thoughts again, and dives into the Adriatic Sea. 

\- - - 

The market is a bit far from Nonna's house, tucked in the hillside. Jacob hasn't thought much about Troye since he saw him at the club. Maybe it's because of the other man that seemingly forced a kiss on his face, or maybe he's subconsciously terrified of hurting him, but all these negative thoughts pull back the second he sees Troye again. His strawberry stained lips and sapphire eyes make Jacob's heart jump out of his chest. 

The sun is merciless and Jacob would much rather be swimming at the beach this morning, but Nonna promised Troye would want his help at the farmer's market. He's out of his nightclub clothes and back in faded knee-length overalls over a lavender t-shirt. 

"So do you run the stand by yourself?" He asks Troye, catching him off-guard as he organizes mini crates of tomatoes. His eyes widen a bit when he sees Jacob over his shoulder, and a blush appears on his porcelain cheeks. He's covered in sweat and dirt and he's simply breathtaking in Jacob's eyes. 

"Oh, didn't see you there," he explains, looking down as he wipes his delicate hands on a green rag. "My sister usually helps , but today she's in Rome with her best friend. Did Rosa send you?" 

"Already on a first name basis with my grandmother? She must be _very_  fond of you, Troye," Jacob teases. "Yeah, she sent me. Guess you're stuck with me today." 

"Lucky me," Troye sighs, trying to suppress a laugh. "I suppose you aren't too bad, though. Just don't knock over any of the vegetables."

"Hey! I may be dumb but I'm not an idiot." 

The Australian boy throws his head back and laughs beautifully. The sound is heavenly to Jacob's ears, and to himself, he thinks  _this is what heaven must sound like._

"That was probably the most unintelligent thing I've ever heard anyone say," Troye jokes, trying to catch a breath. Jacob tuts and pretends to take offense while trying to discretely take in the angelic image of the beaming golden boy. He doesn't care how sweltering it is under this tent, he'll stay up here with Troye all day if he has to. 

"Oh, whatever! Now help me set up these cucumbers before customers start coming." 

Troye breaks out in another laughing fit. "Jacob, that's a fucking  _eggplant!"_

\- - - 

Despite the heat, the market was actually a wonderful place to spend the afternoon. All of Nonna's friends came to buy jarred tomatoes. Some gave them homemade pasta noodles, saying they were such good boys for helping Rosa out and deserve the best of Abruzzo. A few customers bought plants potted by Troye, and others came for the array of garden grown vegetables. 

Working alongside the blonde boy was the best way to spend the afternoon. He was incredibly kind to everyone that came to the stand, handled every single product with care, and seemed genuinely happy to have Jacob by his side. He caught Troye looking at him quite often, and blushed every time he sent him a wink. They begin to close up when it's nearly three o'clock  and the table is clear of vegetables, which is also when Troye takes out a basket that Jacob hasn't seen yet. 

"Wanna go for a picnic?"

God, can he be any more precious than this? Is this sweet boy even real, or has the perfect, imaginary boyfriend that Jacob's always wanted manifested into some hallucination? 

And so they set off on their bikes, ending up in a field that Troye spends most of his time off. It overlooks the Adriatic and the beach town below, long grasses gently swaying in a fresh breeze contrasting against the bright blue sky above. They don't even need a blanket because of how soft the ground is, as if it was made to hold the precious Troye.

"I discovered this place my first week here. I got in a fight with my sister over something stupid, so I took my journal and ran until I ended up in this field. I saw the ocean and all the sunset's colors that danced upon its bright reflection, and wrote about it. I've never brought anyone here except you, so consider yourself special," Troye explains with a half smile. 

"It's beautiful, much like someone else I know," Jacob states, shamelessly smiling at Troye, who gently shoves his shoulder and tells him to stop being such a sap already. He sits down on the soft grasses and pats a spot next to him. 

"I packed up strawberry lemonade and salami sandwiches. Sounds good?" 

Jacob nods, grateful that he's even allowed to sit close to Troye. Yet again, the sweet Australian boy surprises him with even more cuteness as he pulls out heart-shaped sandwiches and two pink cups.

"I made the lemonade myself, so please tell me if it's too sour." He delicately pours Jacob a cup and watches him, waiting for his response. Jacob doesn't care if it tastes like Sour Patch Kids pureed; he's going to drink every last drop with complete gratitude. Fortunately, it tastes delicious, as if it was made from the best strawberries in the country.

"Troye, this is the nectar of the gods. It's beyond delicious, so don't think for a second it's too sour." 

Troye is already a blushing mess. He looks at Jacob through his dark lashes, his breathtaking eyes striking something in Jacob's soul that tells him one thing:  _kiss him._

"You're too kind, really. Thank you very much," he says, handing Jacob his sandwich and grapes before moving the basket out of the way to lay down next to him. The angel boy props himself up on his right arm as he stares at Jacob, their faces so close that even nature tenses. The wind ceases, the clouds melts, and Jacob slowly reaches up to caress the side of Troye's face as it all comes together. The attraction that's left them restless for the past four days is finally appeased. Their lips are a centimeter apart before Jacob fully leans in and kisses Troye. It's so soft and precious and full of want, because Jacob wants to find happiness with Troye just as much as Troye wants to find happiness with him. He slowly licks into Troye's delicate mouth, deepening the kiss, pulling the god-sent boy on top of him and holds his little waist tightly. They feel each other's tongues and teeth as the wind returns, as if it's pushing them closer together. 

As they finally come up for air, they look deep into each other's eyes. The truth ran wild like a tear down a cheek. Troye places a final feather-soft kiss on Jacob's tanned cheek before moving off him. 

"Troye, I-"

"If you're going to apologize then save it, because I've wanted to do that since the second I saw you." 

He didn't expect him to be able to both turn him on  _and_ read his mind at the same time. But it's Troye, and no one compares to Troye. He casually smiles at Jacob, casually melts his heart, and starts eating his lunch as if he wasn't just making out with the man next to him. 

"Hey, how long are you here for?"

Jacob takes a second to think about this since he hasn't kept time in over four days. He considers this a privilege. 

"Six weeks, but I never wanna leave. I fucking hated living in America if I'm honest. Life is just so rushed there." 

Troye nods with understanding. "Australia wasn't my favorite place either. Sometimes I miss it, though."

"I never got to ask, why did you come here? That is, only if you're comfortable with talking about it. If it's too personal, I get it. Trust me." 

Troye takes another sip of his strawberry lemonade before scooting closer to Jacob, who looks at him with warm puppy eyes that mercilessly tug at his heart strings. 

He's everything Troye has ever wanted.

"I trust you, Jacob. We haven't known each other for long but my gut is telling me it's fine to open up. So...I grew up in a broken home with divorced parents. My dad fell into alcohol and eventually- he, he became abusive. I was eight when it started. He'd shove my mum, scream at my ten year old sister, and found satisfaction in beating me. I was tiny and I've always liked wearing girly things, but he found that repulsive and chose to tear apart our family instead of overlooking our differences. He blew a lot of our savings on drinks and gambling, until mum finally divorced him when he broke Sage's arm. Mum should have stood up to him much earlier, but as I got older I realized she was simply scared for her life. Practically frozen in fear. Nothing went back to normal, and we were always scarce on money from there. I took Italian throughout middle and high school which earned me a two year scholarship to University of Rome. I finished this spring, but during my winter holiday my sister left Perth and moved to Abruzzo. She met Rosa, who was looking for help in her garden, and got me the job. So now I live with Sage, who works in some fancy winery. And that's how I got here." 

He turns on his side to face Jacob, who also turns at the perfect moment to where Troye's face becomes close to his. He knows how painful it is to have your family torn apart, but fuck, he can't imagine what it's like to be abused so terribly at such a young age. And Jacob's blood boils at the thought of anyone laying a hand on the angelic Troye, who's full of nothing but love and light, who deserves the entire world and all her galaxies. There's no words he can say right now, so he leans forward and gently kisses the Australian boy, who places his soft hand on Jacob's face and strokes his cheek. 

Everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts. 

Jacob ends up telling Troye his own backstory in brief summary. They sneak kisses, hold hands, and make fun of American tourists without any filter. He could tell that Troye felt more understood after he talked about his own experience with divorce. For hours they go on about their favorite films, artists, animals, and foods. They open up their hearts to one another as the afternoon passes by blissfully.

"We should probably go soon; I wouldn't want to worry your grandmother." 

Both of them can't help but frown. Their day together was nothing short of perfect, but the shades of sunset on the water are telling them, "go home and say goodnight!" The brown eyed boy begins to get up, until his mind flashes back to the night at the club.

"Wait, Troye? Can I ask you something?" 

"Sure, what is it?" 

As if the Lord is guiding Jacob's eyes, he glances to Troye's little wrists and notices faint, finger-shaped bruises. His jaw nearly drops and tears nearly come up, but out of respect and shock he doesn't say anything. 

"Wh-who was the guy in the black tank top at the club the other night?" 

And now Troye's eyes are stinging with tears. His strawberry lips quiver but he shakes it off before any negativity tries to crawl out in front of Jacob. He refuses to let them scare him away. 

"He's...I-he's the guy that's been booking my shows. He left Italy last night though. Said I'm worthless to him and went back to South Africa." 

Jacob wraps the soft boy in his arms and holds him close to his chest, between his legs. He kisses his crown of blonde curls softly, leaning close to his ear and nearly whispers "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I saw how he...treated you, and I swear, I haven't come so close to clocking someone the second I saw him touch you. But please believe me when I say you only deserve gentle hands and genuine care, kay?" 

Troye snuggles into him and slowly turns around to where he's laying on top of Jacob again. His eyes are perfect, and the rays of the setting sun shine upon them in ways that are beyond heavenly. He leaves Jacob short of breath; this boy really does look like an image from a painting that's come to life.

Their lips meet again, and it's another fifteen minutes of teeth scraping and tongues exploring and lips touching. Their noses are pressed against each other and fit perfectly, as if they were born to be each other's fitting puzzle piece. Jacob can't get enough of licking into Troye's mouth, sucking gently on his bottom lip while his hands stroke his small back. 

Eventually they peel their hands (and mouths) off each other and set off into the sunset on their bikes, the blue sky fading into gold and turning all of Italy into the most beautiful shades, like some classic Italian film. When they reach Nonna's house and have to part ways, Jacob hops off his bike and plants a sweet kiss on Troye's mouth. 

"Tomorrow?"

And Troye just laughs. 

"Tomorrow."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im honestly having so much fun writing this book lol. comment if u have any questions and i'll do my best to answer soon!
> 
> Yury


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i recommend listening to "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice while reading this chapter. it's a very beautiful song

_And so it is._

A week has passed since the day at the market. Everything has been going perfectly, except for the night that a bird flew into the house. Troye and Jacob were sitting together at the kitchen table with their cups of Italian expresso when they heard Nonna scream like a little girl. Troye sprang from his seat and ran into the living room,

"Quello che è successo?!" 

They found the old woman mercilessly swatting at a little bird with a giant broom, cursing at the poor thing like it insulted her mother. When it flew in her direction, she ducked and covered her head as if the little thing was a bullet. Jacob couldn't help but laugh as Troye tried to catch this tiny bird while his grandmother lay on the floor in absolute fear. 

Every morning, Jacob would watch Troye garden from his bedroom until he noticed his staring. And then the blonde boy, always in his little overalls and green gardening shoes, would find himself waving to Jacob to come down. They spent as much time as they could in the garden together, sharing sweet kisses as they inhaled the scent of rosemary and basil. Troye would tell him all about botany and Jacob held onto every word that came from his pink lips. 

"Tomatoes grow best when the nighttime temperature is between sixty and seventy degrees. Also, eggplants need warm soil to grow properly, so you need to be careful about where you plant them- Jacob, are you even listening?" Troye asks the American, who's holding his small body from behind as he trails little kisses from his jaw down his neck. 

"Of course. I guess I just can't take my eyes _or_ lips off of you," Jacob answers, smirking against Troye's neck, who slides out of the embrace. 

"You're telling me. Now let's go swimming, it's becoming hot as the Sahara in the sun," he suddenly decides. This is the thing about Troye that Jacob can't get enough of: he never stops surprising him. A new day with him promises a new adventure. 

[They get changed, and within minutes find their way back to each other on the cobblestone path to the shore.] 

"Troye, what's your favorite drink?"

"Lemonade," he answers innocently. He definitely seems like the type that would enjoy lemonade, at least to Jacob. "It's best when it tastes a bit sour at first and turns into sweetness. Adding strawberry or raspberry is nice too. What's yours?" he asks Jacob, who's purposefully trying to brush his arm against Troye's, in hopes of their hands intertwining. 

"I really like green tea. I had a feeling your favorite would be something like lemonade."

"Why?" 

Jacob turns to his side and finds Troye looking back at him. "Cause you're also sweet," he answers, booping the blonde boy on his little nose as his soft cheeks turn rosy again. He attempts to shove Jacob off but ends up holding onto his arm. Troye's little hand eventually slides down and lands in his palm, finally joining them together. And now Jacob can't help his blushes either.

There's an ice cream van parked at the entrance to the beach, and Jacob couldn't miss how Troye's eyes lit up a little. So, like the good friend and good potential boyfriend he is, Jacob takes Troye the truck and orders him a lemon ice pop. 

"Here's your lemonade for the day, sweetie," Jacob pretends to tease. For a second he thinks about how he completely went of out his way to buy something due to the little glimmer of excitement in the beautiful boy's eyes. He's really got Jacob wrapped around his finger. 

Troye presses a lip gloss kiss to Jacob's cheek with a smile. He thought it was impossible for the day to be better than it already was, but once again the universe proves him wrong, and he's so grateful to be wrong. 

"You really didn't have to do that for me, Jake. But thank you so much, no one's ever treated me out of the blue like that."   

Jacob drapes an arm over Troye's small shoulders and pulls him closer. He doesn't know how to feel about being the only guy who's ever gone out of his way for this angel boy; he's absolutely breathtaking inside and out. Every aspect about him screams beauty and grace, which is the reason why he feels like the luckiest man in the world. He's the one that gets to treat Troye, to make him feel desired, to appreciate him like this, and no one else. 

"You deserve sweet things, kay? Now let's go find a spot and swim before the sun melts the skin off my face."

 [Troye laughs at Jacob's over exaggeration and takes his hand, leading them to a spot on the beach. They sit in the shade until Troye finishes his ice pop.]

Jacob wasn't mentally prepared for the fact that he gets to see Troye half naked. And god, he nearly reached out for the beautiful boy again once his shirt came off. He feels so drawn to Troye; there is no logical explanation for this except the feeling in Jacob's gut that he's meant to be with him, despite living on different sides of the Atlantic Ocean. Troye grabs Jacob's hand and pulls him to his feet, who's doing his best not to stare intently at his soft torso. And everything is perfect, too perfect, until the Australian boy turns around.

And Jacob sees the bruises on his lower back. 

He says nothing.

Troye looks at him over his shoulder for a split second, and his glance said "I know. It's terrible, but please don't worry. I'm alright now. I'm alright." 

So their worries melt away as they step into the vibrant, blue water of the Adriatic Sea. Not quite, but nearly as blue as Troye's eyes. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah, sure thing Tro." Jacob doesn't know if he should brace for something very terrible or very good. He hopes it's the latter. 

"Tro?" he questions, smiling innocently. 

"Yeah. I've decided it's my new nickname for you. But what were you gonna ask? You've got me all anxious now," he confesses.

"Oh! Uh, so... you know-you remember the stuff we did on the hill last week, right? I guess I- I just- I wanted to know if- if it means anything to you. This might make me look stupid, but it really means a lot to me, and I want to know if we're on the same page or not." 

It's obvious how nervous Troye is about admitting his feelings. That much Jacob can tell. Usually, he's annoyed by people around his age who struggle with confronting emotions, because it's something that must be done if a solid relationship is to progress. But now, he doesn't feel an ounce of irritation towards Troye, and that's how he knows just how much Troye means to him.  

"I-yeah, I'm glad you brought this up. I want to let you know that it means something to me too. We don't know each other very well yet, but god Troye, I'm becoming enamored by you. So yes, I think that day has a lot of significance." 

Troye swims closer to Jacob and puts a soft hand to his cheek. He looks like a merman as he leans in and kisses him, his strawberry lips tasting of lemon and saltwater. 

"I'm glad you feel that way, because I can't keep my mind off of you."

\- - - 

They spend the day swimming along the shore, eventually going farther out and reaching the rocks where they lay in the hot sun together. Jacob's eyes trail along Troye's dripping body with fascination. His head is turned, his breathing is soft and his are shut, so Jacob assumes the boy is asleep. 

"You're so beautiful. Like an angel. I just wanna hold you all the time, and that's probably weird to you since we've only known each other for two weeks, but I've never felt this way about someone before. I just hope you're okay with having me around, and having me kiss you like we've been together our whole lives, because I truly cannot get enough of you, Troye," Jacob spills, barely above a whisper. The angel boy sleeps, which gave him his chance. And now it's all out, but Jacob is still the only one who knows these truths. 

Or so he thinks.

Little does he know, Troye was far from fast asleep. He heard every word and it takes every sliver of self-control he has to stop himself from shooting up and tackling Jacob with touches and kisses. He continues to lay perfectly still in hopes of hearing more complements, but they never come. It's so soon yet Troye keeps wanting more. 

And so it is.

Eventually they swim back to the shore and sit close together in the shade. Jacob tells Troye about his best mates Jed, Joe and Caspar and all the trouble they used to get in together. In return, Troye talks about his friends Tyler and Hari that he met in college. 

Jacob gets a call from his mother, asking him to come home and that's when they parted ways. He gave Troye a goodbye kiss and a promise to seek him out first thing tomorrow. 

"Hey, Jacob?" 

"Yeah babe?" 

Troye blushes. "Would you be alright with maybe, uh, walking me home? I know it's dumb, but sometimes I get really paranoid walking home by myself 'cause of all these creepy guys that used to hang around my flat and- they'd, y'know-" 

He didn't have to finish to convince Jacob of anything. Hell, he didn't care if Troye had no reason, he'd walk him home regardless. He'd do almost anything for the angel boy, and it seems as if he's letting Jacob sink in too. 

"Of course, I completely understand Tro. And I'm always down to take you home," he teases, setting Troye's cheeks on fire. 

[So just like before, he takes the blonde's delicate hand in his and leads him down the cobblestone path. He only lives three blocks from Nonna's, so their time together isn't long.]

"When will I see you again?" Troye asks as they arrive at his flat. He looks up at Jacob with the most magnificent gaze. 

"Tomorrow night?" 

Jacob holds Troye's face with both of his hands, gently stroking his cheeks as his fingers feel the short hair on the sides of his head. Jacob lets himself get a final taste and touch of Troye for the day. He leans in and quickly presses a kiss to his little nose before moving to his lips. They kiss deeply, hidden from the world in a metal stairwell. 

"Alright. This time, you come over. I'll have dinner ready." Troye stands on his tip toes and presses a final kiss to his new lover's lips. 

"Thanks for taking me home, Jay. I'll be thinking of you tonight." 

\- - - 

As Troye lay in bed, sticky from his sweat, one thing runs through his head and its not how uncomfortably warm he feels. 

"I can't take my mind off of you." 

He doesn't know why he whispers this in the dark. Maybe it's just his heart bursting at the seams, pouring out through his mouth at an alarming pace. Troye stares intently at the ceiling in his room, completely still. 

It's like a rush of blood to the head. Or cold water. Maybe both. He can't tell anymore; all he knows is that his feelings for Jacob are growing more with every second. The words he whispered in his ears on the rocks won't leave his head. They choke his train of thought until all he can think of is Jacob. 

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. 

_So it is._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- hello my babies! what do y'all think is gonna happen at Troye's flat??


	5. five

Troye is just so nice to look at. Jacob doesn't know if he's allowed to think about him so much, but he's far gone now. The feelings that Troye give him are addicting, and Jacob can't stop craving his touch. 

The thoughts hit him when he's in a cafe with his mother. 

"Jacob? You alright, honey?" she asks with worried eyes. Her son abruptly stopped speaking in the middle of his sentence, his hand frozen, clutching a cup of hot coffee. 

Jacob has completely forgotten the fact that he's not going to be here forever. Him and Troye are going to be on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean, hearts burning, distraught at their currently reality in which the sheer force of distance will tear them apart. 

"I- yeah... just forgot what I was gonna say." He manages to move his hand slowly back down to the table and his jaw relaxes. But this is not enough to fool a loving mother. 

"That's alright, you just seemed like you remembered something awful. So, how about you tell me what's going on between you and Nonna's gardener? He seems to find pleasure in your company." 

Jacob's face lights up, then darkens, as if any form of light was taken from his eyes. She had a feeling that this is what was bothering him. 

"Oh, Troye? Uh... I really like him, but I guess that doesn't really matter." 

Well, that's quite the unexpected answer, considering they've been spending most days together. Isabella thought he'd be more excited to talk about Troye, and aren't they having dinner together?

"What? Why doesn't it matter?" she asks, cocking her head. 

Jacob's gaze falls to the floor. "We live on different continents. What's the point? I feel like we have a strong bond but I've completely forgotten that we can't last. He's the most amazing guy I've ever met, but I'm just not sure how to feel anymore. I don't know." 

Isabella does her best to explain that it's alright to feel conflicted, and there's nothing wrong with a summer fling. It doesn't seem to help much, but Jacob's glad that at least  _someone_  takes his feelings seriously. Even when the entire world turned on him, even when the heavens closed up as he sought refuge, his mother never left his side. She never lost faith in her son, no matter how many times he felt like he didn't deserve love. 

"So when you go tonight, make sure you talk about this with Troye. I'm sure he'll be willing to have that discussion. It's gonna be alright, Jay. You don't have to give it up just yet," she finishes, putting her hand on top of Jacob's. 

"Thanks, mama. It's just, I don't wanna let this go. Ever." 

\- - -

Is it impossible to dislike nature? How can one find themselves if they aren't connected to their planet? Maybe it's from growing up in a place where you're more likely to die from a jellyfish sting than a gunshot, but Troye has always had a heart for wildlife. As soon as he moved into his apartment with Sage, he made it his goal to fill up all the corners and windowsills with plants. And soon plants moved onto his bookshelf, on the porch, and in the kitchen. Life was all around Troye Mellet, even when he didn't feel like living at all. 

He goes as far as sweeping the tiny porch of dirt and grime before Jacob arrives. Even Sage gives him a confused look when she finds her brother wiping their small table, setting flowers and candles in the middle, and putting out plates for two. 

"Hey Sagey, how was work?" Troye asks, organizing their plethora of soft colored candles in the living room. 

"It was... pretty good. Is there a special occasion tonight?" she questions, pointing to the neatly set table. 

"Oh, um, I'm really sorry I didn't let you know earlier. There's a guy I've been seeing and I invited him for dinner tonight. It's kind of a date... would you be fine with letting me have the kitchen and living room until ten-ish?"

"Of course! I'll just go to Ariadna's- hey, it's not that dirtbag Jeremy, is it? Y'know, the creep who would get you venues and made you do weird shit? 'Cause if it's him, then I am  _not_  leaving-" 

Troye shook his head, putting up his hand. "No, Sage. I was never with him and never will be. He's left, anyways. Finally far from here, all alone in South Africa without anyone to sexually assault." His last words poison the air between him and his sister. Sage has always wanted Troye to find someone special, thus she's been looking out for him since he first came out to her. From the start, she knew Jeremy was bad news, but her brother is too strong and too stubborn for his own good. That bastard got away with his corruption, and Sage's fury hasn't lightened up in the slightest since she found out. She'll be dead before she lets another psychopath lay their filthy hands on her brother again. 

Sage opens her arms, and without words Troye sinks into her embrace. 

"Can we please report him? Tok, what he did wasn't okay, and we have evidence. We need to tell before he does it to someone else." 

Troye sighs, "I haven't thought about it that way, but I really don't want him in my head tonight. I've found someone who actually respects and likes me coming over, and I want all my focus to be on him. Can we talk about this tomorrow?" 

Sage lets him go. "Alright. Tomorrow." 

She says her goodbyes, and goes down to her friend on the second floor. Jacob texted Troye saying he's on his way, and suddenly everything didn't seem perfect enough for him. He hasn't had a nice boy over like this in years. The Australian boy checks himself out in the mirror again, making sure his white blouse is unbuttoned enough at the top to look cute and casual while re-tucking it into his navy blue jeans. His nails are painted a soft lavender and his bleached hair looks soft and inviting for Jacob's hands to run through. All Troye can do now is believe in himself and hope for the best. 

There's a knock at the door. 

Troye opens it to reveal Jacob, a genuine smile rising on his face when he sees Troye. 

"You look lovely," he states, taking his hand from behind his back to reveal a half dozen daisies.

"For you, garden boy." 

And Troye's cheeks are red again. He can't help but smile back at the gorgeous man in his doorway.

"Garden boy?" he teases, taking the flowers and letting Jacob in. As soon as he turns around from closing the door, he wraps his thin arms around Jacob's neck, meeting his lips in a sweet kiss. Now all they want to do is hold each other and slowly make out in Troye's kitchen. Quite a heavenly way to spend the evening. 

"So am I having your lips for dinner? I mean, I'm definitely not complaining, but your table is set." 

Troye gives Jacob one last kiss before tearing himself out of his arms. He gently sets the daisies in the centerpiece jar, still blown away that a man brought him  _flowers_. A handsome, kind man at that. 

"No, silly. I made us tilapia and roasted potatoes. You can have me afterwards, in any way you want," Troye winks at him from the kitchen.  

Jacob loses his breath at that, and his grip on the back of his chair tightens until his knuckles are white. Fuck. He's fucked. And it seems that in this exact moment he notices how tight Troye's jeans are around his ass, and how his delicate collarbones are completely bare, and the urge to squeeze his tiny waist keeps growing. 

He's snapped out of these thoughts when Troye sets his plate in front of him. 

"There's more in the kitchen if you finish this. Would you like strawberry lemonade, water, or regular lemonade?" 

"I'll have whatever you're having, babe." 

Troye blushes and strokes the top of Jacob's hand with his own. "Strawberry it is then!" 

It's obvious how much effort Troye put into this date. Floral placemats are set perfectly beneath round, white plates, which are accompanied silver fork and knife. The auburn colored cloth napkins complement the tablemats and bring out the white paint on the table perfectly. There's a blue vase holding flowers of every kind, including Jacob's. On its sides are two, lit candles that match the color of the vase. In short, Troye's dining area is completely spotless. And once Jacob gets his first taste of his cooking, it's also clear that Troye is competition for Nonna. The fish is perfectly seasoned, and the potatoes are crisp but far from burnt. 

"Good god Troye, I know you work for my grandmother but I didn't know you could out-cook her. This is divine," Jacob complements. 

"It's not  _that_  good, but I appreciate your complements. I don't cook for people that often so it's good to know I can still make a good meal." 

"Why is that?" 

Troye averts his eyes. "I guess I just don't have many people over. Not many of my friends are in the area, and I'm not exactly popular to begin with." 

Jacob leans forward and takes his hand in his, holding it on the table. "Well everyone's missing out, because your home is lovely and so is your cooking. So whenever you feel like making something for someone, you know who to call," he winks. Troye giggles at him, blushing like a little girl. He's nothing short of radiant. Every time Jacob looks at this boy, he feels as if it's the first day of his life. Every moment in the past is forgotten and Troye runs through his head relentlessly. They make small talk as they finish their meal, getting to know each other's dream vacation and favorite colors. 

[Jacob makes a mental note to take Troye to San Francisco, and to get him all the pastel colored things he can. That is, if their love lasts.] 

After finishing up with a pound cake the angel boy made for dessert, he leads Jacob to his faded red sofa in the small living room. They sit close together with their thighs touching and hands still intertwined as Troye puts on an episode of Planet Earth. His head is eventually resting upon Jacob's shoulder, and Jacob then decides that they aren't as close as they should be. 

"Can I hold you, Tro?" 

And oh god, Troye's entire being lit up like a Christmas tree. He's wanted nothing more, nothing more than to be held by this man again. Just to feel treasured by him, like the only one in the world that he wants to keep safe. He nods happily, Jacob laughing at his enthusiasm, before laying on his side and opening his arms for Troye.

"You're gonna be the little spoon, 'cause you're adorable and small." 

And Troye is officially in heaven. Jacob's arm is wrapped over his waist and his lips are giving kisses to his crown of curls. Troye snuggles into him like it's what he was born to do.

Everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts.

But the future hangs over their heads. And she refuses to budge, as she doesn't believe in love. So Jacob is reminded of the heavy emotions he dealt with this morning, and he knows it's time. 

"I think the both of us have forgotten that I'm not staying here forever."

The joy that was radiating off of Troye was immediately extinguished. Jacob felt terrible for saying it that way, but it had to come out eventually. Nonetheless it was terribly destructive and agonizing. 

"I-yeah...I did, I think. And I think I did that on purpose. I haven't even known you for a month yet I'm terrified of inevitably losing you." Troye turns from the monkeys on the TV and buries his face in Jacob's neck, kissing the skin and inhaling his scent.

"I know. I'm sorry for bringing it up. It doesn't make me want you any less, but knowing I won't have you forever hurts," Jacob confesses. 

Troye's lips suddenly leave his jaw. "Are you sure you don't want me to stop?"

"If you stop now," Jacob exclaims, "you'll kill me."

 They spend another twenty minutes on the couch before Troye leads Jacob to his bedroom. He straddles the taller man's lap again, re-attaches their lips and allows his hands to slip under his shirt. Jacob pulls Troye closer, squeezing his ass as he licks inside his small mouth. The air is filled with moans, and delicate fingers run through feather soft hair. Soon both of them are naked, and Jacob discovers that his favorite place to be is between Troye's soft thighs, fucking him slowly in a room that smells like carnations. 

They made love until midnight. Life is going easy on them for now. 

So it is. 


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n- he guys! sorry for the delay. ive spent the month of july in vermont taking a photography and journalism course. let me tell you, the workload was backbreaking. i also fell in love and had a lot of unfortunate events occur at home, so updating wasn't a priority for a while. i promise i'll be writing more often, and i've got a new book coming out! it's a Charmie (timothee chalamet x armie hammer) fanfic called "Peaches." First part will be out within a week's time!

The sun shines through cream-colored, wooden blinds. Bright lines from her rays run across the bare skin of Troye Mellet. It's nearly nine o'clock. Troye and Jacob lay in bed without a care in the world, simply present in the moment. Jacob pulls his little love closer. They lay in the lavender sheets together and enjoy the silence. 

"I love Italy." 

Troye hums in response. 

"And I just can't believe I waited this long to come back. I feel like I've finally found home. I don't know; it's too early to think so I probably sound like an idiot," Jacob says, sighing to himself. Troye sits up and straddles him with a lazy smile on his face. He caresses Jacob's cheek, gently stroking his handsome face and looks into his hazel eyes. 

"Jay, it's not silly at all. That's why I'm here. Italy feels like home to me too, so I did whatever I could to have a shot at making it here. And when I made that opportunity, I took my sister and ran from Australia. We never looked back. If it's possible for someone like me, then I know it's possible for you babe. Just believe in yourself and trust the future, okay?" 

Jacob grabs Troye's soft thighs and flips them over. He hisses quietly, still sore from last night and Jacob apologizes profusely. 

"Don't be sorry. It just shows how well you did," Troye teases. They blush. 

"You somehow always say the right thing," Jacob whispers against his lips. "You have a huge positive influence on me already." 

"Oh, quit being so cheesy. It's making my heart melt," Troye whines. Jacob smirks at him. 

"That's been the plan all along."

\- - - 

Troye spends the day working in the garden and prepares for another gig, one he planned on his own. His talent is becoming recognized by the locals and they're eager to hear his voice again. Jacob spots him washing zucchini in his overalls around lunchtime, but otherwise he spends the day with Franco. They bike up old streets and down paths along a cliff, then stop for gelato like old times. Franco takes him to a bakery with heavenly smells where friends hang out and order croissants for lunch. Jacob sees the short boy with curly hair again, except this time his older lover isn't by his side. He seems to be suppressing some sort of troubling emotion.

The day passes with volleyball games and naps on the beach. Everyone goes home for dinner and agrees to meet up for dancing again afterwards. Jacob is absolutely exhausted, but he agrees to join Franco for the sake of seeing Troye. 

On the walk back home Franco finally asks his cousin about the boy he's spending most of his time with.

"So, you and Troye? Together?" 

Jacob shoves his shoulder gently. "Uh, maybe. Are you guys like, cool with that stuff here? Back home it's hit or miss. There's allies and homophobes everywhere and sometimes it's impossible to tell who's who." 

"Jay, no one cares who you love here. All we do is love. Have you seen who Elio is with? He's got something serious with an American man eight years older than him, and their relationship is beautiful. No one will judge as long as you do not judge," he says, thick Italian accent coming through. Jacob remembers the man Elio was holding at the club the other night. If they're accepted here, then him and Troye will be too. 

"Yeah, I've seen them once. The little one seemed kinda upset today."

Franco laughed, "Elio? Ah, he's been sad. Oliver is going back to America again, and he's offering Elio to come with him. He doesn't know if he wants that so he's upset. I think he is going to go, though. But I guess we will find out next week!" 

"That's kinda cute. But, yeah... me and Troye have something going. I'm not sure if we're dating, but we're pretty close to it. Thanks for, y'know, accepting me. Americans should be more like you guys." 

Franco pats him on the back. "I agree with you on that!" 

\- - - 

Troye performs with just as much boldness as his last gig. He wears tight, black pants with a half-unbuttoned purple blouse. Golden eye shadow rests on his lids and his lips are glossed with a pink tint and iridescent shine. Little ringlets stick to his forehead, some sweat shining on his neck from the bright lights and stuffy room. 

His beauty outshines the rest of the world. Jacob can't take his eyes off of him. 

Fortunately, he doesn't plan to. 

Unfortunately, Troye doesn't look back at him. 

Fortunately, Jacob doesn't notice. 

He's a bit buzzed from the alcohol and his eyes are glued to Troye's hips. The sound of his sultry voice in the air mixes in with the flashing lights to where Jacob doesn't notice the pain in his lover's eyes. 

He doesn't speak to anyone once his performance ends. He grabs his bag and leaves. Outside by the exit door stands young Elio, who immediately clings to Troye's side once he steps out of the stuffy club. He doesn't look back. 

Jacob walks home with a heavy heart. 

He wakes with a pounding headache and a weight in his chest the next morning. Troye seemed so far away, so distant, like a stranger. Who was he thinking of? Jacob shakes these thoughts from his head to find the motivation to get out of bed. The bright sun blinds him in an unkind way that's very different to how it caressed him and Troye the morning before. Ah, lo and behold, of course he's in the garden this morning. Except this time Elio is by his side. They're washing and sorting tomatoes for the next market. 

With all the stealth he could muster, Jacob attempts to listen to their conversation from his window. When he realized this won't work, he quietly sneaks out the front door and runs to the back of garden's shed where he's convinced no one will see him. Oh, such a plan! 

"Things like these take a lot of thought. It's okay to be worried or confused. He's much older and America  _is_  his home; I strongly believe he's going to take care of you. Go, Elio. He came back for you and you alone. He literally cannot take his eyes off of you. Just let him love you back and go start a new life. What's left here that you haven't already seen and done anyways?" 

The younger boy sighs and leans into Troye's side. He sniffles, crossing his arms, and says, "He still calls me by his name. And because I'm silly, because I'm young and very in love, I call him by mine. I think this means I have to go with him." 

Troye, sympathetic and amazed, pulls his friend closer and kisses his head of unruly curls. Jacob can't tell what exactly he's thinking about. The look in his eyes as he holds young Elio reveals a guiding and parental figure, almost as if he's lived through something similar. 

"Do you want to know what I think, love?" 

Elio looks up from the ground. "What?" 

"Well, I think that you were made for two things," Troye says innocently, playing with the brown curls. 

"Tell me them." 

"You were made to love Oliver and to see the world. You have so much fascination for books, for music and writing, and so does he. I don't think you're meant to stay here forever. Maybe you guys will decide to come back, or maybe you'll find another place to love. This was meant to happen, Elio. The look on your face gives away the fact that you haven't stopped thinking about him since the day you met him." 

The shorter boy lazily wraps his arms around Troye. "How do you always know what to say and how to fix my boy problems?" 

He laughs. "I'm not sure. Maybe I was meant to be your best friend. Us twinks must stick together," he winks. Elio shoves him playfully, thanks him again, and gets on his bike. 

"Remember, if you decide you want to come back home then call me! You can stay at mine," Troye calls. He continues sorting the tomatoes as Elio pedals away.

"You can come out now, Jacob." 

He comes out from behind the shed with a confused look on his face. "How did you know I'm here?" 

"You're not exactly hard to miss. I saw you watching from your bedroom window and had a feeling you'd come down anyways." 

Troye moves over on the bench to make room for him and continues washing tomatoes, completely un-phased and seemingly apathetic. Jacob feels like his world is crumbling before him. It takes him a few times to spit out the words that rest on the tip of his tongue,

"Are you regretting what we did the other night? What's happened, Troye? And don't lie to me; I know there's something wrong." 

All he wants is to take Troye's hand in his and go back to how they used to be. He can't lose this precious boy, not yet. People like him rarely come by in his life and Jacob wants to treasure their time together as much as possible. 

"I don't regret it at all. But after you left, I realized we never talked about the obvious fact that someday you're not going to be here and I may never see you again. I forgot you're leaving in a little over two weeks. I just couldn't help but wonder... what's the point if we're not going to last?" 

Jacob's heart sank like a stone. Troye couldn't even look at him. He tried to catch a glimpse of those blue eyes, but their rims were reddened and watery. Every time he sees the color blue, it's going to remind him of Troye's eyes and the sky from the day they kissed on the hill. 

Summer can't end. Ever. If it stops it'll kill him. 

"Troye...where's all this coming from? I-listen, I get it, but don't you want to embrace the moment and do whatever we want until we can't? Do you," Jacob gulped, "not-not want me like that anymore? Is there someone else?" 

Troye sat up quickly, annoyance in his eyes. "Why would you ask such a question? Of _course_ there's no one else. If there was why would I care so much?" 

"Look at how you've been acting ever since yesterday morning. And it's not like you've been alone. A certain Elio seems to be stuck to your side ever since you've changed. What else am I supposed to think?" the American fired back. Oh god, please do not let this turn into a fight. 

"Don't you  _dare_  bring him into this. He's leaving his home country, not even twenty years old, to live with a man eight years older than him in America! And they're madly in love but he's so  _young_ and he's scared! Are you seriously getting jealous of Elio?!" 

Jacob glared at him. "You haven't spoken a word to me since I slept with you, but you've had him under your arm every second since. What the fuck am I supposed to think, Troye?!" 

"Since when were you so insecure?" 

Insecure. 

 Jacob stands up, looks directly into Troye's soul and reveals everything he feels with his eyes. 

It is everything. 

"You're the one that pushed me away. I didn't do that to you. I have nothing to be insecure about. Nothing." And so he walks off, pain and guilt heavy on his shoulders. 

 Fortunately, Troye just wants to run up to him and cry into his chest as he profusely apologizes.

Unfortunately, he refuses to move; let alone make a sound. 

 

 

 

 


	7. seven

It's been twenty-four hours since they've spoken. Not a single text or phone call has been exchanged. Both of their hearts feel heavier and colder with every growing minute.

Everything hurts.

Jacob has no idea what to do. He can't help but feel like he's caused this tension; did he push Troye too far? Was he not ready for sex? How much of this is his fault? What's going to happen next? The morning after their fight, Jacob closed his shutters violently after he stuck his head outside and looked around for Troye. Seeing him would make things worse.

When your lover avoids you after you give him your body to explore, you can't help but feel lost and ashamed. Sometimes you want to blame yourself; did your body disgust him? Were you bad at pleasuring him? Did he decide you're not as good as someone else? Well, it's no use questioning when he won't talk to you.

Jacob lays in bed through breakfast. Tears sting his eyes as he wonders if Troye ever plans to speak  with him again. Will he spend the last two weeks of this trip in misery? It's all up to the soft blonde boy in Nonna's garden. He hopes he didn't go too far in their argument yesterday. After replaying everything of the past two days in his head, he concludes this: Troye is treating him like shit because he's scared of attachment, and neither of them have any idea on how to go about this situation. Instead of wasting away trying to decide what to do, Jacob calls Franco and meets him outside. They wander through the old streets, smoking cigarettes and complaining about the heat. During a card game on the beach his cousin calls him out.

"So are you going to tell me what happened or are you going to pretend everything is fine?"

Jacob looks up from his cards. "How could you tell?"

"Your face gives it away," Franco says. "You look like you're on the edge of having a breakdown. Did something happen with your boy? I saw him leaving Nonna's, he seemed very sad."

At least Jacob means something to Troye, or else he wouldn't be unhappy. That's probably a sign, right?

"Kind of...we had a fight at the worst time to have a fight. I'm starting to think he regrets spending time on me."

"Well, why did you fight?"

"He doesn't think what we have is worth it since I'm leaving in two weeks."

Franco sets his cards down. "It seems that he's never had a fling before. Maybe he's scared, I don' know. He seems like a very gentle and innocent boy."

Jacob nods. "He is. And I don't wanna ruin that either. So maybe it's best if I just, go?"

"Ehh, I don' know, if you really want him then keep trying. That's always worked for me. Just don't go too far. Be soft with him."

Jacob couldn't image being anything  _other_  than soft and gentle for Troye. The thought of him in pain, tears in his eyes or his voice sounding broken, he cannot stand it. He never wants that boy to suffer.

He must fix this.

\- - -

It's sundown by the time Jacob gets home. Franco ended up taking him to play tennis with the group of friends from last night. He noticed Elio wasn't there, and wonders if he's on a plane with the love of his life to a new home. Soon he too will be on a plane, except his heart will be empty, and his lover will be left alone on the other end of the ocean.

He explains to Nonna, some random aunts, and his mother that he spent the day out with Franco and they let him by easy. Something seems a little off but he pays it no mind.

Until he opens his bedroom door, filled with thoughts of Troye, to find the boy himself there. He's sat on the edge of the bed, silent. He must know it's Jacob who's standing there, as he then says,

"I can't take my mind off of you."

He sees so much in Troye's eyes. Jacob's heart loses it, overpowers his brain and sends him to embrace his little love. Everything becomes so intense and the strength of the situation pummels them like a cold rush of water.

"I can't either. Being away from you, it's just been..."

"Agonizing," Troye finishes.

"Yeah. Agonizing."

They fall back on the bed tangled in each other's arms. Jacob gently wipes the tears off of Troye's soft cheeks, kissing his sadness away. There's still a stinging in his chest, gnawing at his heart with every sniffle that he hears, but having his angel boy in his arms awfully helps.

"Please don't leave me, Jacob. I'm so alone," Troye whimpers. "So fucking alone." So Jacob does his best to pull him closer than they already are and lets his sweetheart bury his face in his neck. As he holds Troye close to his heart, he kisses him behind his ear and whispers,

"I'll be with you always."

They fell asleep for a few hours. Jacob woke from his sleep when his arms couldn't find his source of warmth. He tossed frantically, searching for any signs of Troye leaving him, until,

"Jacob?"

He turns around to find Troye at the door and sighs in relief.

"You scared me for a minute; sorry, I just thought you left."

Troye sat down on the bed and put an arm around Jacob, who turned over to lay on his chest. "I was just in the bathroom," he assures, kissing the top of the brunette's head. "I'd never leave you. Not while I have you."

Jacob begins to doze off to the sound of Troye's heartbeat, until he feels the body beneath him shift.

"I think we need to talk, Jake."

"You're right. I don't wanna go there, but I have a feeling there's some things you need to tell me."

Jacob can tell Troye is bracing himself to revisit something he wishes he could ignore. He rubs his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

"I don't think I was ready to have sex that night, but I didn't know until it was over. That, worrying about Elio and knowing you're leaving just made me lose my head. I'm so sorry I avoided you like that, Jacob. You deserve so much better than me and if I could change how I reacted I would. I was just scared; I felt so alone for some reason, and my last sexual encounter wasn't exactly consensual on my part..." he trails off. "After you left I got to thinking about the future. I've never had a fling with a foreigner before, so I had no idea what to expect. But then I realized there's going to be a day when you're on the other side of the Atlantic, moving on from me and holding another beautiful boy; I'll just be some distant memory and I'll probably be very alone. I was sad and frustrated, and I still kind of am, so the only thing I could think of was to protect myself and push you away."  
  
Jacob's strong arms hold Troye close as more tears escape his eyes. His lovely Troye, who's beauty outshines all the Roman gods and their sons, suffers terribly and he has no idea how to make everything better. All he can do is love him.

"I forgive you, and I'm sorry too," Jacob mouths against Troye's temple. "You're amazing and everything I could ever want. You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me, Troye Mellet. Please don't doubt that. You're so special to me, and I just want you to know that no matter what happens you're always going to hold a place in my heart." 

They lay in bed together a little while longer, solemnly holding each other in the dark. The moon hides behind clouds; her light doesn't reach Troye's skin or Jacob's sheets. Nothing beyond soft kisses occurs and soon enough the sun begins to rise. Jacob can tell neither of them are falling back asleep, and gets an idea. 

"Tro, you awake?"

"Mhm," he grumbles into the pillow. 

"Take my hand, we're going outside." 

Troye rubs his eyes and sits up, reaching for Jacob. "What? Why?" 

"Just, c'mon," he answers. And so he leads Troye by the hand down the stairs, out the backdoor and into the garden. The sun begins to slowly creep over the horizon and illuminates the Adriatic Sea. Everything in the air is silent, chillingly so. No bird sings to the rising sun, to the elderly people watching the sky change, to the love-stricken couple in the garden. 

"I give this song to you," Jacob says, as he takes his phone out and places it on a bench. Troye stands behind him as The Blower's Daughter fills the silent air. His heart cramps up, and his eyes mist over; as Troye knows the power within this song. It's clear that it's not about a casual love. 

"Dance with me?" 

The gardener takes his hand and allows himself to be pulled in. "Of course." 

They move gently, swaying slowly as Damien Rice vocalizes their feelings. Jacob ignores the painful fact that soon he'll be departing from the one person that makes him feel such emotions, and so does Troye. They hold onto the present for all it's worth. Mist begins to fall from the sky and their faces are graced with cool water. 

"I can't take my eyes off of you." 

Troye holds Jacob's face in his hands. _"Bless this morning,"_ he thinks.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- hello all, thank you for being patient with me and my slow updates. The Blower's Daughter is a song important to me, as it connects me with a lover I had this summer. See you all soon


	8. eight

_"Who are you thinking of?"_

_Jonsi_

_\- - -_

Troye and Jacob spend their days together in bliss. Sometimes they work hours in the garden side by side, or Jacob goes to the club with Franco to watch Troye sing, or sometimes they lazily let the hours fly by on the beach. A few times they dined with Jacob's family, and during this time he'd pretend Troye was his forever, officially part of his family. He'd let his mind go on and on at the ideas of the blonde with a diamond ring on his finger and their own house to return home to.

If only. 

It's now the Tuesday of Jacob's last week. Troye was busy doing something with his sister, so he and his mother decided to visit Rome for the day. After tearing up at the sight of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel frescoes, they visit a sandwich shop for lunch across the street. 

"Last night I had an idea for something you can do with Troye for the last couple days." 

Jacob's attention isn't on his food anymore. "What were you thinking?" 

"First, Jacob, I just want to tell you that I've never seen you this happy with another person before. The energy I get from the joy between you two is, almost overwhelming. He's a special boy, and your bond is one of a kind. Knowing that you'll separate for some time breaks my heart, so I have a proposition. How about from Wednesday til Friday night, you and Troye pick a place to travel to together? Stay at a hotel?" 

Shivers ran through Jacob, as if a cold wind blew through his inside. He knows now that it's no longer him who sees what he has with Troye is beyond special, and that they're going to lose it. This delicate love will be shattered and mangled by the cruel hands of time and place. But in all this tragedy, his mother gifts him with three days that'll strengthen their relationship even more. Three days to pretend that the world hasn't destined for two soulmates to be ripped apart, to return to a life of loneliness and melancholy.

"Mom...I love him," Jacob suddenly states. "And god, does it feel good to finally admit it. He's my entire world, and yeah, I know we haven't been together for long but never in my life have I felt so strongly about another person. And mom, you should see his eyes when he stares into mine..." he trails off, tears glistening in his own eyes. Just the other day when we woke up next to each other, he gave me this look that, that I- he... he let me see into his soul. He revealed himself to me in the most vulnerable way possible and I read him like an open book. It sounds outlandish and honestly creepy, like part of me can't even believe I'm telling you all this-"

The tears begin to spill over. Isabella takes her son's hand in his, and feels the corners of her own eyes about to burn. 

"I'm there for you, baby. You can tell me everything and anything, okay? Never feel ashamed of opening up to me. Remember I love you no matter what." 

Jacob wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. "Now you know who I'm always thinking of, I guess."

"Oh honey," she laughs. "I've known since the day you met Troye." 

\- - -

They walk through the ancient streets of Rome and decide that Jacob will call Troye on the way home, and ask him to accompany him on a trip to Tuscany's countryside for three days. Once he connected to WiFi, Jacob booked two nights at the Relais Santa Chiara Hotel. 

When he finally boards the train and takes out his phone, fear and anxiety creep up on him. What if Troye says no? What if he can't even go? Yes, those are possible answers, but then Jacob realizes he needs to have more faith in Troye. So despite the anxiety gnawing at his gut, he calls him. 

"Hello?"

"Hey babe."

"Oh, Jacob! Are you still in Rome?" Troye asks. He sounds surprised.

"I just got on the train to leave. Listen, there's something I wanted to ask you. It's kind of a big deal."

"Uh, okay. Should I be nervous?" 

"No, of course not. If anyone should be nervous it's me," Jacob laughs. "So when I was in Rome today, my mom brought this thing up," he continues. "She uh, she said she really admires our relationship, and wanted to give us the chance to go on a little trip together. So, Troye," Jacob swallows, "will you come with me?"

Fear creeps up on him, and suddenly he's terrified that he just pushed Troye too far, until-

"Jacob of course I will! God, that's awesome! I'll most definitely come with you to wherever you go," Troye exclaims. 

The anxiety melts away into relief. "I'm glad, cuz this phone call would've been really awkward had you said no," Jacob laughs. "I booked us a hotel for two nights in Tuscany's countryside. Florence is about an our and a half away, but we can do whatever you want. So while I'm on my way home, you could plan some stuff for us to do." 

"Tuscany?!" he gasps. "I absolutely _love_  Tuscany. God you're perfect, Jay. I mean, I could honestly go anywhere with you and I'd probably be happy. But still, I can hardly wait." 

He blushed profusely, told Troye he'd see him the next morning, and hung up the phone with a feeling of relief. And when the line went dead, Jacob immediately thought about that last thing Troye said. 


End file.
